When “Too Good To Be True” Is Just Plain Wrong

Over recent days I have been surprised by some of the reactions I have been hearing about my new company, IFWG Publishing, by the writing community around the world. It was not what I expected. I was, perhaps, a little naive. I can sum the general responses in one sentence: "It’s too good to be true!" I feel compelled to dispel that stink bomb.

IFWG Publishing was created by writers for writers, and we believe that we are giving authors the best service they could find anywhere, whether it be in self-publishing, or traditional. We term our services as ‘hybrid’, because we don’t fit the mold of either traditional or self-publishing, mainly because we are author-centric. Other blog items covers that stuff 🙂

What got me was our quarterly contest. Listen folks! Every three months we run a short story contest where up to 33 finalists get published for FREE in an anthology, and will get marketed. The winner will also have one of his or her major works published for FREE, and will get marketed. Every three months!!!! And some people think we are scamming. Sheesh.

We are running this contest for two reasons. Firstly, it gives authors a real chance to experience publishing and get some of their material into the industry and reader world. It helps them, and it costs them very little indeed (time and creativity). For us, it draws in (theoretically) hundreds of talented writers and we can tap into this group, and help publish genuine talent. Authors make money, we make money. Simple business. Symbiosis.

So why so cynical, writing world? I suspect there are a lot of reasons, but perhaps the biggest is that the publishing industry, almost more than any other, has a dismal track record, where there are in fact scammers galore trawling the seas of lost and disillusioned authors. I can’t really blame them.

We are a new company and our first titles are just about to roll off the presses. We are running our very first quarterly contest, and so there are no previous awards to demonstrate our street cred. The starting gun had only fired fourteen days ago. When I responded to one particularly cynical writer, I ended up being quite brief. I asked him to visit our site and pick up what our ethos is all about, and if still not satisfied, to bookmark our site and visit it in 3 months. That is what it is all about. We need to prove ourselves by delivering.

However, there is a bit of a dilemma in play here. We still need enough material to allow delivery. We need authors to believe in us and we can produce quality titles. We need entrants to our contests so that the field is outstanding. We need people to understand what we are about and put their trust in us.

I hope you are one such person.

Recipe: The Best Tomato Sauce for Pasta Ever!

One of the things I have improved in is appreciating simplicity and clarity of flavours in cooking. This is probably the best example.

Ingredients
1 Can of diced tomatoes (or fresh, if you are willing to skin and seed)
1 eschallot
1/2 cup small diced pancetta (not round, but the flat variety – if you can’t find, substitute with quality speck)
1 tbs quality olive oil
1 tbs Fresh chopped rosemary
Worcestershire Sauce
1/2 tsp sugar
1/2 cup quality red wine – robust, like Shiraz
1 cup chicken stock
1/2 cup grated Reggiano parmesan cheese

pasta of choice

Method

Separately prepare pasta.

1. Heat olive oil in a solid frying pan and saute eschallots, garlic and pancetta until well browned.

2. Add red wine and reduce, constantly stirring.

3. Add full contents of tomato can and the stock, stirring in sugar, chopped rosemary and two dashes of Worcestershire Sauce.

4. Cook on medium to high heat until reduced to a thick, but still runny sauce. Take off heat.

5. Spoon contents over pasta, and sprinkle a generous amount of grated cheese.

Enjoy.

My Cloudtweet Assessment

Sort of an insight, pop-psychology style. Look at what my major words are – and what does it say about me?

Commentary: I am an author – how do I get published?

It all depends on what you want to do with your story, and with your career.

1. You can try to publish your work through small presses – some are more picky about quality and polish than large presses, but there are also fringe/specialist presses that aren’t fussy. If you find and befriend the latter, you might be able to publish quickly. If all you want is to see your work printed with limited market penetration, this is one way to do it.

2. If you are dead keen on getting street cred in the publishing world, without compromise, you have a long journey and you should just keep trying until you get the break. In that case, it is NOT smart to show more than a few pages of your serious material in public access Internet sites (like this) – otherwise you lose what some publishers consider important – "first publishing rights".

3. You can self publish. There are options here. You can do it all yourself, buy your ISBN, get copyright, go through services like Createspace and end up spending fairly small amounts of money and you have something someone can buy through Amazon. It doesn’t market your product – that is up to you, and there is no professional polish, formatting, editing, done. For the vast majority of people who do this, they will have sub 100 units sold, the majority by you, family and friends. But you might think this is ok

4. You can self publish through a self-publishing company. They use Createspace, Booksurge, Ingram and other services, depending on how the company is set up, and many of them are mercenary. They will charge quite high for the services and they will not be fussy about the quality of your work. If your work is unpolished or (forgive me) crap, they wont care, and it will be reflected in the product. They will not edit your work unless you pay for it, and the editor isn’t always THAT good. If you pay for cover art, they will provide it. If you want it marketed, they will do it for money, otherwise, the vast majority will do nothing. Sales are rarely good, much like doing it yourself. Again, this might be what you want.

5. There are a few companies out there that offer a form of hybrid service – you pay them to publish you, and they look after full service, and may even refuse to publish you until a minimum standard is met, despite the client’s willingness to pay. This is the best of both worlds. Again, sales are not necessarily great, but at least you are given the equipment to optimise your chances.

With regard to self publishing, it has a lot to do with the final product. How good it is. Traditional publishers will openly say that a self-published work spells the doom of the title ever transferring into traditional publication. Bullshit. Matthew Reilly, Christopher Paolini and Grisham are examples of the contrary. The fact is that if you sell between about 2000 and 5000 units, agents and publishers will start showing interest. Having said this, boy do you have to work to get your stuff marketed, and also… it has to be good. There is no quick way there.

Also, those of you who want to hold out to get the traditional path break – think long and hard about that too. Luck aside (hey, I would like to win Lottery too), it is a long journey. Most specialised small presses will publish you but is it success? Look at the quality of their work – many are as nearly appalling as most self-published works. Limited. Almost worthless.

Now to dispel the biggest myths. First, if you actually get the break and publish your work through a tradpublisher, don’t give up your day job. On average, a successful writer needs about 10 novels drawing in royalties before a reasonable income can be got. Secondly, when a traditional publisher offers to publish you, they will probably invest about 50K worth of print run (about 5000 units) and spread it among the 120,000 outlets (work that out) and then they will wait and see. Most outlets will try a new author/title out for about a week or two, and if no sale, they will return it for pulping. If it isn’t received well within about 2 weeks, a publisher will simply let the title go to pasture – and the publisher owns the rights to the novel, so the author can’t do anything with it, except try to drum up interest. That’s it, you see, tradpub or not, new writers need to do the work. Publishers will not invest marketing money (beyond about 10k) if your name isn’t Dan Brown.

So where do you go? I think it is relatively simple. You give yourself every chance possible to get your name out there, and do it smartly. Most self-publishing activities, if handled well – the right publisher, the right polish, the right marketing, and the right product – has to be good, will never harm your chances to get traditionally published, but at least you get a foot into the industry and you LEARN from it. Research every step of the way.

A Simplified Analytical Model Describing the Differences Between Traditional and Self-Publishing

This is a copy of a blog post I placed today in the IFWG Publishing site.

I have been involved in many discussions of late, on the differences between Self Publishing using (Print On Demand technology) and traditional publishing, and I have read so many commentaries on the topic on the Internet, that my own views have solidified somewhat, and I feel an urge to discuss them.

I also want to dispel some myths.

I don’t want to dwell on self-publishing efforts by authors who do much of the logistics by themselves, but I believe that this analysis does largely cover the same challenges and opportunities as companies that provide self-publishing services.

A good focus point for this discussion is to try to think of publishing, for an author, as a simplified linear equation:

Title Success refers to the end goal – to have a title that sells well and contributes to the success of an author;

Quality of Title is self-evident – the better the creative work, the better chance it will sell well. This is not a given though, as it is my belief that many excellent titles just take too long to be recognised, if at all.

Quality of Publisher. This factor represents several elements – it refers to the publisher’s requirements to ensure polish of text, printing, cover art, etc. There needs to be an expectation in the industry that a given publisher delivers.

Publisher Marketing Effort. This refers to the extent to which the publisher will support marketing the title to the industry and reading public.

Author Marketing Effort. This refers to the extent to which the author makes an individual effort in marketing the title, both in terms of assisting the publisher, as well as pure individual effort.

There are other influences, but they collectively cannot match any of the factors represented above. Luck is one, and there is little point in discussing it. The best example is the alignment of some titles, and their coincidental exposure, with a world fad – the Dan Browns, the Harry Potters. If it happens, then it happens. Winning lottery happens too.

Each of these factors that collectively contributes to Title Success behaves differently between traditional and POD publisher effort. The following table discusses them:

Success Factor	Traditional Publishing	Self Publishing
Quality of Title	Publishers are generally conservative & will only publish titles from “tried and true” authors and celebrities. It is notoriously difficult for new authors to get a notable publisher to publish them. While dependent on the publisher, titles are generally of high quality, in line with the conservative model.	Most publishers have no interest at all in the quality of the title. They will publish anything the author wants, as long as it is paid for. Authors are in the difficult situation of having to judge the quality of their own work, and unfortunately most of them are seriously biased due to lack of professional help or experience.
Quality of Publisher	Leading publishing houses have professionals who will polish titles to an excellent standard, and provide artwork, including covers, of high grade. There are also notable exceptions to this, depending on the maturity of a given company, as well as their target readers.	Publishers vary in quality, and many should not be in business. Because most work on an authors-pay basis, they have little, if any, interest in polish. There are countless examples of titles that are self-published with appalling typeset, grammar, spelling errors, and artwork.
Publisher Marketing Effort	Publishers tend to spend minimally on new titles, and rely on their sample effort to determine if further spending is required. Often, this initial effort does little to further the title’s progress. The author is stuck with the publisher’s effort because the title is under complete control of the publisher.	Publishers will only market if they are paid to do so, in most cases. Even then, it is relatively minor and they tend not to have the market penetration of traditional publishers. In most cases, however, the title is not bound to the self-publishing effort – the author still has control.
Author Marketing Effort	Good publishers will work with the author, but at a minimal level. There is an expectation that the author will work hard to market the title and it is in fact in the author’s interest to do this, as it may assist in getting the sales needed to attract publisher interest to continue with it.	Publishing companies will make it clear to the author that marketing is generally up to them, and that success will be determined by that effort. This locks the author into a great deal of time commitment, and perhaps money. This does not bode well for authors who have little aptitude for this discipline.

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As you can see in the table above, most categories, be they traditional or using the self-publishing paradigm, have negative features. Few have positive. The industry is geared toward business, not the author. This is obscene, and it has been like this from the very start.

However, I think the industry is changing – mainly due to technological innovation, where some of the negative factors are being undermined, re-evaluated, if you will. For example, self-publishing started off as vanity presses, where the author would have to cough up a great deal of money in order for print-runs and binding to take place. This was the only way printing could take place back then. These businesses worked with models where only a small number of customers were needed. Then came the Internet, digital printing, just-in-time printing technologies. Suddenly it was a lot cheaper and faster to publish a book with high grade printing, paper and binding. This is goodness. This phenomenon, along with others, doesn’t per se improve the authors’ lot, but it enabled the industry to be flexible enough to allow for the possibility of better deals for authors.

From the perspective of traditional publishing, there is a proliferation of new small publishers who genuinely want to publish new titles from new authors and are willing to find them. They work hard and don’t necessarily make a lot of money, but they are able to publish, because it is cheaper to do so. I respect these companies to no end. My own company, IFWG Publishing, intends to go down that road with a new imprint within a year.

With completely different dynamics, there is a small subset of the POD/self-publishing industry that is also looking to provide a better deal for authors. I call it hybrid publishing. This is where the publisher chooses to make policy decisions that provide a stronger emphasis on authors’ interests. In the case of my company, IFWG Publishing, this entails:

Not accepting just any title for publishing. It has to have a minimum standard. The philosophy is really very simple: authors can only grow if they can lift their standard to a publishable level; and our company will have better market penetration for titles if all the titles have a reputation of quality. Symbiosis.
Minimum marketing. Our company must provide a reasonable level of marketing support, even if it only entails good working relationships with authors and the provision of good advice. We can and do more than that.
Decent pricing. We simply believe that if we have highly competitive pricing, then we will attract more authors, and more authors will be able to afford to publish their work.
The company authors are authors themselves. We want to help authors grow and we know their motivations. This adds support to the growth of author careers.

I really don’t know where the industry is going to settle, if it will ever settle. What I do know is that the two classic models of publishing, which have existed in one form or another for many years, are not working for authors. This seems incredibly stupid to me because it is clear that readers (whether they be e-readers or print readers) are insatiable and love good new work. It’s what makes writers write, and many publishers publish. If tapped, it can also make publishers run successful businesses. I believe in my company, in part because I we can contribute to changing this injustice.

A Call For A Children’s Book Illustrator! – CLOSED

This request has closed – an illustrator has been appointed.

Hi there!

One of the nice things about being in the publishing business is that I can pick and choose what special projects I want to be involved with. This is such a case.

A very good friend of mine, and an excellent author, has written a short children’s piece. It is about 5000 words long and takes the reader through a futuristic, phantasmagoria of a journey. It was conceived to be heavily reliant on excellent artwork – and a fair amount of it.

This isn’t the type of work that should commission an artist – it is as reliant on the imagination and skills of the illustrator as it is with the writer – and I have advised my friend that what he needs is an artist who works in colour to collaborate with him. 50/50 royalties, in actual terms.

If you are an artist and want to work on a part-time project, to collaborate with my friend on this book, please contact me. Leave your email via a comment on this blog entry, and I will make contact with you. I can look at your credentials (sample art etc), and if you look like you are well matched with my friend, then I can get you to look at my friend’s story. The next step would then be for you to get in contact with the writer and see if you are happy to work together. I know that my friend is happy to allow a lot of your creativity to influence the work – again, a collaboration.

I am a publisher, and my friend has committed to turn to my company first when the work is nearing completion. I am also happy to provide some detached, publishing comments on the journey this collaboration will follow. All goodness, I believe. I believe this effort will take months – at least six.

Just to reiterate what I inferred above. This is the creative phase and is not a commission. My friend did this work for free, investing in the possibility of publication. The artist will need to follow the same path. However, if the product turns out as exciting as I think it will, the artist will have equal share of royalty returns.

Please! If you think you can do this, leave your details!!!

Gerry
Chief Editor
IFWG Publishing

Personal: My Little Annoying Curse

I have a rather nasty condition called angioedema – a lot of people think it is related to the heart – which it isn’t. It is related to hives, but is a lot worse – it manifests itself a lot deeper and in weird ways.

I have had it for about 20 years, maybe longer, and the first time it happened I didn’t know what it was. I was doing some gardening and then one of my feet swelled to about 130% normal size. Could hardly walk and took a bus to the doctor. He thought it was a spider bite and gave me cortisone, and it went away over the next day or so (not before the other foot swelled). Then, periodically, my feet, my hands, my face, my tongue (or half the tongue), lips, or localised areas almost anywhere (and I mean that) would swell. For a while I thought it was some lingering poison from a spider bite. Hmm.. you can convince yourself of everything.

Eventually I got to see an immunologist and he diagnosed the condition within minutes – that was about 5 years ago.

My immunologist is great, and a leader in his field. He was a mixed blessing for me – he got me to understand what I have, but at the same time realise that it was nigh impossible to know what causes the allergy, and so I had to reconcile myself to drug therapy to control it. And over the next year or two that is what he did for me.

Over the last few weeks I had a nasty batch of attacks. It turned out that my lovely little child gave me a virus, that turned into a throat and ear infection, which crashed and burned my immune system, causing the angioedema to win the day against the normal drug therapy. So I had everything – including the thing I dreaded the most – throat swelling. I spent 7 hours this morning at Royal Melbourne Hospital casualty, getting pumped with hydrocortisone and IntraMuscular adrenalin.

I still hope this is the after effects of my infection-hit. If not, I have to carry an epi-pen with adrenalin nearby. Not good.

Commentary: IFWG Publishing’s “Social Contract”

The last few weeks have been heady days indeed. IFWG Publishing has been created, and all the necessary technical and procedural elements have been put into place to actually allow us to publish. Now the hard work begins.

Somehow, someway, despite the hectic pace, I actually had moments where I was able to contemplate the bigger picture, and review why we are doing what we are doing. We want to run a business – that’s a given. We want to make a living doing what we like best, in the industry that stimulates us the most, and we want to be rewarded for hard work and innovation. This is true, very true, but we also have an ethos – a philosophy that permeates all elements of what we think and do. We want to help good writers to be better writers. We want to publish good work and get the buzz.

I have just described to you, the reader, what we want to do, but we have to prove it to you too, and win your heart and soul. The biggest obstacle to this, in my view, is the fact that we are a self-publishing company (I should note here, however, that we certainly do more than what a self publishing company would normally do, and it is definitely part of our plan to also have a traditional publishing imprint).

Self publishing has an enormous stigma and this is our clear challenge to overcome. Many people – including those in the industry – intentionally or via ignorance, interchange ‘self publishing’ with ‘vanity press’, or dead end, low quality products. It isn’t surprising, because we have a publishing industry in a technological, economic, and cultural hiatus. All you have to do is spend half an hour on Twitter, or visit one of the hundreds of blogs out there in the Internet, to get a sense of the excitement about where the industry is headed. What we do know is that an an author, or a small self-publishing press, CAN print high quality books, given the skills and effort applied to it, and it can be marketed to a reasonable degree. It is equally well known that new authors entering the business will still look to keeping their day jobs for many years to come (if not forever) because the efforts by large publishing companies to invest in ’emerging authors’ is conservative indeed. With some few exceptions, regardless of self publishing or not, the onus on marketing has fallen to the author, and perhaps a third party, if they can be afforded.

In my estimation the real obstacle for ’emerging authors’ is not the constant barrage of failed queries (which are symptoms), it is the conservative nature of the industry itself, where authors are commodities, not human beings. The irony is that for every potential great writer that gets discouraged, there is a financial investment lost to those same companies. It is an incredible waste.

So I thought about how we could do things differently, and it occurred to me that what we needed was something analogous to a ‘social contract’ – where there are two parties of very different ilk, who have an agreement about how things are done (this is my definition, as it is hardly the sociopolitical definition). In other words, we need to be able to convey to authors what we can do for them, and at the same time describe what they can do for us. For instance, we can publish an author at an incredibly low price compared to most of the self-publishing industry and which would have been unheard of only a few years ago. That is one of our commitments. However, we also require quality – we need to maintain a standard in the industry that will, over time, prove that a self-publishing company can produce titles that a retail store will gladly place on their shelves. Authors will certainly gain from that! Authors in this relationship need to work beyond their submitted manuscript level – they need to be willing to rewrite and work with editors – and pay for the effort.

On a similar level, marketing is critical and has a place in the ‘social contract’. We are committed to market your work if you publish through us, but we can only do so much. But we will help, and advise. We will help you, help yourself. Your commitment, is to participate in the marketing process, assuming you want to make a success of this.

There are other examples, but I will leave it at that. It is all about relationships. Ultimately, it is about making good authors better authors.

I hope that many of you who read this get a sense of what we are trying to do, and join in the ‘social contract’.

Short Story: The Wyrm’s Footprint

The following is one of many short stories that I have written in the epic fantasy genre. This one is set in my Chronicles of Evyntyde.

Each step was carefully placed as the cave floor was eternally damp and the slimy stones were polished by thousands of years of water running over them. One slip and he would tumble hundreds of feet to a shattering end. Cimiar grimaced, imagining his end in a fall – the underground stream would eventually carry his rotting corpse to the Eralyn Plains.1

The young alchemist had a blazing torch in one hand, but had the other free: he more often than not needed it to keep balance or hold onto stone formations or stalagmites to keep himself from slipping. He guessed he had descended at least half a mile beneath the mountain and had no idea how much of his climb was left. The wyrm’s lair was deep indeed.2

Cimiar started to wonder why he had chosen such a difficult task, why he was willing to risk his life for a single wyrm’s scale. He then reminded himself that it was worth it: that rendering the scale to powder would give him the final ingredient needed to enchant the blade he had forged. The scale’s sympathy toward fire resistance would be used to bestow the same to the wielder of the sword. He smiled at the thought of achieving this magic. His fame would spread throughout Kul-ra, and he would be invited to the Court of the God Emperor Kul himself. After pondering this his fears dissipated into the hollow darkness of the colossal cave network and into the sounds of trickling streams that joined the rushing river far below.3

It seemed an eternity, but eventually the steep descent turned into a gentle grade. The river was near; its cataracts already roared in his ears and fine mist caressed his face. In minutes he was saturated.4

He raised his torch and muttered an invocation to the god Aquyla in the old Kulric tongue, and for a few seconds the sputtering flame erupted ten feet in height, lighting his surrounds completely. He quickly scanned the area. Yes, the cave is still gigantic in size! A wyrm would have no problems getting down to this level. A wyrm would nest here.5

He dared not enhance his torch’s flame again for fear of being noticed by the ancient creature. Assuming the alarm has not already been sounded, he soberly thought. His plan was not to see the wyrm at all. All he wanted was a scale. For hours his eyes had scanned the rocks and crevices, hoping to spot a scale that was shed or scraped off on the rocks. To no avail – so far.6

Cimiar rounded a turn in the cave and encountered a narrow path, lined with stacked boulders on each side. This was the first sign of anything other than natural formations in the cave network. He wondered what purpose it could serve, having rocks the size of cows stacked up twenty feet on each side of a five foot wide path, and extending for two dozen yards. There was no easy way to get around them; it had to be a trap. Crude but… he remembered reading that Wyrms often had magical abilities.7

Cimiar closed his eyes, thanking the gods that Olander, the largest of the six moons – and which held sway over the element of earth – was in the ascendant this day. It added considerably to the power of his earth based spell casting. In seconds the walls of rocks came into his mind-view – and they became known to him in every facet – the boulders were understood completely: weight, dimensions, makeup – down to the finest grain, and also their smallest weaknesses. It was costly, but he opened his eyes. Maintaining his concentration on the walls, he slowly walked down the path.8

When he was exactly halfway down the rocky corridor a rumbling suddenly emanated from beneath his feet, and then the walls started to collapse in on him. This was expected and now that he fully understood the nature of the rocks, he countered their sympathy to fall – with all his might. The entire length of both walls were leaning over the path, ready to crush the alchemist like an insect under foot; but they no longer moved. They were suspended in mid air. Cimiar continued to walk but his pace was agonizingly slow as he had to spend the lion’s share of his concentration on his spell. As he approached the final yards he could sense that his strength was waning and that some other magic was trying to counter his effort. Gods! he thought, this is not going to work! Then an idea entered his head – another way to save his life. He forced his remaining strength to rapidly separate every grain that constituted the boulders; and he pushed.9

Instantly, in a mighty cacophony, all the toppling rocks within a three yard radius exploded into fine dust, and Cimiar leapt forward in an attempt to avoid the tons of material. The torch snuffed out as he was engulfed by the waves of sand. Holding his breath for as long as he could, he scrambled in slow motion, trying with what little strength he had left to move toward the edge of his improvised grave. He moved his hands and arms as if he was swimming, furiously trying to edge his body forward. Suddenly he felt the freshness of the cave air caress his face, and the powdery remains of the rocks run off his body. He climbed to his feet. He was very weary but he was still alive. A simple mental gesture set his torch alight again.10

“Impressive indeed,” came a hoarse, venerable voice from Cimiar’s right. He turned and saw a man so old it was difficult to grasp he was still alive. The wizened figure’s back was bowed to the point he could barely lift his head to look at Cimiar. He wore grey robes and had nothing on his dirty feet. A gnarled hand firmly grasped a crooked walking stick. “No man has ever succeeded in getting this far. You must be a powerful sorcerer indeed.”11

Cimiar dusted himself but kept his eyes firmly focused on the old man. “I am an alchemist, sir, and traps that are constructed from base elements are a trifling matter to me.” He hoped his lie was convincing and did his best to disguise his exhaustion. “Now tell me, old man, who are you? I expected a famed wyrm to reside deep in this cavern.”12

The figure laughed. “You could perhaps call me the Gatekeeper. I am as old as the caves and I am charged to protect those who live here.”13

“Including the wyrm?”14

“I am charged to protect those who live here,” the old man repeated.15

Cimiar sighed. “Does the wyrm live here?”16

The Gatekeeper laughed again. “No, no, no. He passed on scores of years ago! I am afraid that I now protect the bats, the crickets, lizards and fishes.” The old man’s face turned quickly solemn.17

Cimiar was now concerned that he may have risked his life for nothing. “What do you intend to do now, since I am still alive?”18

“It depends,” the Gatekeeper replied. “What are you planning to do?”19

“With no wyrm, to return to the upper world. All I wanted was a single scale of its hide.”20

The old man looked surprised. “Is that all? A mere scale?”21

Cimiar nodded.22

The Gatekeeper held his hand up, indicating for Cimiar to stay put, and he wandered past a small outcrop of rock and disappeared. Ten minutes later he returned, carrying a shiny red scale, the size of a small shield. “Would this do?”23

Cimiar nearly choked. “Why, yes. It is exactly what I want.”24

The Gatekeeper handed the glistening scale to Cimiar. “You must make a promise to me, in exchange for this boon.”25

Cimiar nodded again.26

“Never return to this cave. It is a sacred place and it deserves to be undisturbed.”27

“I swear Gatekeeper,” Cimiar responded, genuinely.28

The old man acknowledged the oath and started to walk away. “Then I bid you farewell, alchemist. We shall not see each other again.”29

When the old man disappeared behind the outcrop, Cimiar turned to the path he had nearly died in, and to his surprise it was clear and lined with the same stone walls. He was weary but he chose to climb some of the way before resting, in order to honour the Gatekeeper’s request for privacy.30

The return journey was difficult as Cimiar’s spell had taxed him nearly to his limit, and despite the short rest, it would take days to fully recover. When he finally exited the cave mouth overlooking a small clearing on the side of the mountain, into the freshness of the Western Waymoor Ranges, he was barely able to find a spot to collapse and fall asleep. It was night, and it seemed so easy to close his eyes. He cared little for his safety…31

***

The sun had already risen an hour before when Cimiar awoke. He stretched and scratched his chin, slowly getting up, trying to shed the last vestiges of his sleep. He was lying on a small patch of grass on the side of the cliff face where the cave mouth yawned, and as he stepped forward to gain a better view of the valley below, he tripped into a shallow hole in the ground. He was sure it wasn’t there before.33

Cimiar stepped out of the hole and studied it. He then fell over laughing. “Old man, or should I say old dragon! You sly devil!”34

He had fallen into a fresh wyrm’s footprint.

Sanity Fifteen Minutes Away

I live in an apartment in Southbank, very close to South Melbourne. It has huge advantages – I can walk to work, and pretty much stroll to any convenience under the sun. Our apartment is reasonable in size, on the twenty-third floor, and offers an incredible view of Southbank’s skyline, the "Gee" and Rod Laver Stadium, Albert Park, and a breathtaking view of the coastline – Port Melbourne, St Kilda, Brighton etc.

When you have a nasty flu, and a bout of angioedema, it is like being in a small birdcage, and a cooped-up four year old girl doesn’t help – no siree. So I can praise my wife for suggesting, despite our battle scars with health, that I struggle out and go to the beach at Port Melbourne. Great idea – and it was.

We were only there around two hours, but it made a world of a difference. It was sanity. Recuperative. And best of all, fifteen minutes drive down the road. Another advantage of where I live.

As it turned out, this was the first day since last summer, that a hot day magically appeared – admittedly a little too warm on the beach, but hey, for a four year old to paddle in the Bay’s water, fantastic. Now for those of you who don’t know Melbourne, because we are on a Bay the beaches are simply not like Sydney’s – no competition, and probably most of the coastline. Australia generally has vast numbers of perfect, fine, white sand and wonderful waves – not so the Bay. But, the little one didn’t care at all (water – that is all it has to be), and frankly, the return of Sanity was all I was focused on. Hallelujah!

Our beach shelter at Port Melbourne’s ‘beach’ Erin having the time of her life